I said this is a guy who is both cheated and deceived, and by the way, I think it’s important. To me, cheating is almost like an act of self-harm. This relationship is certainly not the healthiest, but it doesn’t break like I do. Eventually, my low self-worth brought me into my desire for male verification that was so dissatisfied that it was actually lost. Of course, relying on what I have already proven in a romantic relationship is not enough. Like a wanted addict, I need more. In those rash moments, nothing matters. Although the relationship did end up eventually, the catalyst was not my infidelity. This is not his. We got back together and kept moving forward. At least for a while.
This is the case for many couples I know who overcomes cheating. For many of them, the hardest part is not dealing with the consequences themselves, but dealing with the judgment of others. “Social often sees cheating as a black and white moral failure, but this oversimplification can hinder understanding and recovery,” explains Dr. Madeleine Mason Roantree, a psychology consultant and dating coach. “I found that couples come to me and I can’t speak to their friends and family because they expect that they have to leave the relationship, which makes it particularly difficult for the hurting party to work on the issue.”
Of course, in some cases, cheating will pay and should be the end of the game. I’m talking about the network of great betrayal and lies so tangled that you can no longer distinguish between the real thing, what is not, and the thoughts you deceive yourself. You know, like your partner sleeps with the best partner, with matters that you are always paranoid, and anything that involves someone’s siblings. But cheating is not always the case. Sometimes it does be as simple as a self-destructive mistake, or in the case of Aidan, a mutually appealing comfort.
None of these are condoned cheating. But just because of objective errors or harm does not mean that it cannot be forgiven. “I brought the couple back from the pain of infidelity and saw them overcome it,” said Dr. Mason Roantree. “For some, cheating may stem from unmet needs – emotionally, physically or mentally – in a relationship, which can be resolved through open communication and effort.
