Many of us already know A healthy relationship – Similar Strong communicationtotal honesty and unwavering commitment. but Most people don’t actually know The appearance of these qualities in practice.
As a result, couples may find themselves A miserable situation. Worse, they do not recognize it due to unhealthy habits such as emotional numbness, inhibition or standardization issues. When you are familiar and routine, it is difficult to stop and evaluate how you feel.
As Psychologists studying couplesI often recommend a quick survey of couples. If you find yourself answering “no” all questions, there is a chance that you are not satisfied with your relationship but are not aware of it.
1. Do you feel like you’ve joined the same team in a conflict?
In a relationship, conflict is both inevitable and necessary. but The way you fight It’s more important than what you strive for. If it always feels like you are compared to your partner, not the two of you compared to the problem, it is worth evaluating the reason.
Research In conflict resolution, they are more likely to find a way forward when both sides believe that differences are resolved. But you can’t just rely on optimism; you need shared and clear strategies. Otherwise, arguments can turn into emotional duels and can lead to distance and resentment over time.
If your answer to this question is “No”, ask yourself: “Why do we?” If the answer is not the relationship itself, sit down and discuss and rebuild the team really means.
2. Can you be the truest self around your partner?
this The healthiest relationship Give you room to breathe. Loud, ugly crying, making a mess, weird. Research Note that people who express themselves in a real, unrefined way are more likely to engage in healthier relationship behaviors.
If you have to keep reminding yourself to suppress part of your personality, you will gradually begin to lose the valuable part of your identity.
If you answer “No” here, you need to pause and reflect. When they meet your truest, most honest self, you should be with those who don’t back down. Excellent partners consider this a special privilege. It shouldn’t feel like something that must be “tolerated”.
3. Are they really curious about your inner world?
In the early stages of marriage proposal, curiosity came naturally. You want to know everything about each other – their ideas, how they view the world, make them tick. But later on, curiosity will decrease.
Research Asserting that curiosity is a fundamental tool for emotional intimacy. If your partner stops asking questions about your thoughts, feelings or experiences, they will never know about the new version of birth every day.
The “no” of this question may indicate that your relationship is on autonomous driving. The partners who truly invest in you will continue to ask, listen and continue to learn who you are.
4. Will they take responsibility when they mess up?
Errors are not like errors that are handled in consequences. Can your partner fulfill their fault and try to get things right? Or do they evade responsibility, get defense and blame you?
Research In conflict, repairs tell us that even the smallest gestures (to admit a mistake, provide a sincere apology, and even use humor) can stop the spiral of arguments. But if you don’t have the responsibility, you will eventually start questioning whether you can trust each other.
If your partner never takes ownership, or they consistently make you feel like you want to be a “difficulty” of concern, it may be time to regroup and rethink what makes you invest in. Honesty, humility and the desire to really do better should be bilateral norms in relationships.
Mark TraversDr. is a psychologist who specializes in interpersonal relationships. He holds degrees from Cornell University and Boulder University of Colorado. He is Sober therapya telemedicine company that provides online psychotherapy, counseling and guidance. He is also a curator of popular mental health and wellness websites, therapytips.org.
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