by Joshua Tyler
| has been updated
Star Trek: Section 31 Begins when a spitwad flies across the screen and traces the appearance of the Starfleet logo. I would later find out that this Spitwad was the Hero ship of the show.
The film continues with a flashback, where we are introduced to a girl who is more evil than Hitler. He killed his entire family in preparation for a job promotion where he would spend decades inflicting galactic genocide and suffering on the man he loved for fun.
“I’m the only one I can’t beat.” – Philippa Georgiou
This space Hitler named Philippa Georgiou (Michelle Yeoh), and the movie deals with a gift where he runs a floating Space Bar. We are re-introduced to him as the movie plays Badass Chick Bock music to cue the audience into the idea that he is really, really awesome that he is, really awesome that he is, really awesome that he is, really awesome that he is, so amazing.
After Georgiou Pops a human eyeball in his mouth and saves the taste while the music beats and the camera flows in his worship. yes, Star Trek: Section 31 is selling the idea of cannibalistic mass murder which is way cooler if he does it in high heels! This is the whole crux of this film. Hurray for space Hitler!
This is not an oversight. This is not hyperbole. This glorification of atrocities is the film that CBS deliberately released under the Star Trek Brand ON Paramount +.
In order to fulfill their celebration of genocide, the most important thing is an unpopular and completely evil attitude from Star Trek: Discoverythe most wanted Star Trek Series all the time, and he was given a feature film.
Why is this happening? How did this happen? When the story is told, it is more interesting than anything else in this movie.
We soon introduced the rest of the Star Trek: Section 31 cast, a spy spy working for the Secret Black Ops Organization Organization 31. The Organization Section 31 was first created in Star Trek: Deep Space Nine As something that is hated, it is not glorified, and it is not something that many trek owners want. So, it’s fitting that section 31 is the main inspiration for a movie that comes from a show that no one wants to have a character that no one will ever see more of.
The super cool section 31 Spy team engages in introductions by yelling at each other, making threats, and posing for the camera. Like Georgiou, they are also mostly serial killers, and they are all sad that they are not able to kill more.
Georgiou joined the section 31 team for reasons and they went out on a mission to do something for other reasons. That’s more explanation than this movie gave me.
Luckily, this mission to do something happens in the exact same space bar they are standing on. What is a conscious financial integration.
The critical mission of getting something for reasons stopped by the surprise appearance of snake eyes from the gi joe franchise. Or maybe it’s a space ninja. This might be a space ninja surprise. Gi Joe never gets along with himself.
At this point, we’re 30 minutes into the movie, and it hasn’t changed location from the trendy space bar set where the whole thing started.
Get ready because things are about to change. The audience is introduced to a new location. It’s a desert with flaming embers randomly spinning around the ground. Our team had a meeting there. Why they chose such a bad location is not completely known.
Their meeting ends and we go inside their ship for the first time. This is not the Spitwad from the movie’s opening scene. Hooray, a third location.
This location is used to talk to a person tied to a chair because, of course, there is a person tied to a chair. The scene happened on the bridge of their SHIPand you can’t see much of it except for some chairs in the background.
Five minutes later, the ship you can’t even see curses, and we’re right in the desert. Deserts are the best when filming on a budget.
Luckily, one of our characters announces that he knows about an ancient ship in the desert – a ship that just happens for reasons. So they walked in the boat, which they saw in the woods.
In the woods. A tree around a desert in a place they often describe as a “Dead Planet.” Continue.
From there on out, the desert is never seen or talked about again, and everything takes place in the woods. Even the locations they used to visit in the desert are now in the woods.
Unfortunately, there are flamethrowers that stick out from the forest floor, so the audience always knows where they are. The flamethrowers don’t seem to blame the trees.
There’s a confusing fistfight in front of a bad green screen scender in a blurry tunnel. A murder mystery that nobody cares about. A robot that does nothing by kneeling in the crotch.
Star Trek: Section 31 It ends when Phillipa Georgiou Genokides is a whole universe of suspicion of possible corruption and then tells his team that he will probably kill them later.
They all have a good laugh at their upcoming homicides, and then Jamie Lee Curtis Pops out of a table at the Fancy Bar set to give them their next mission.
If you have doubts about the quality of Star Trek: Section 31’s Writing, please enjoy this true line of dialogue from the movie: “He died as he lived. By you know what I mean.”
Star Trek: Section 31 One of the worst ideas anyone has ever had, and it’s one of the worst things I’ve ever seen. It was executed by a team of people who did not know what a movie was and performed by actors who knew nothing about acting.
Star Trek never does this. There isn’t any star travel about it. It doesn’t look anything like Star Trek, the star trek stuff isn’t mentioned or mentioned, and it doesn’t affect any part of Train Trek (Thanks to Ginu). Someone wrote a terrible, terrible The Suicide Squad/Guardians of the Galaxy Ripoff Mashup and then slapped the Star Treek name on it in hopes of the streaming crowd giving them money.
Star Trek: Section 31 the impossible is done. This is the worst THING Trek has ever made and also one of the worst things to ever appear on any screen, anywhere. Is it possible for a movie to be bad? It is, and if everyone knows in shame or anger, it will now shutter the entire company and auction its assets to the lowest bidder.
our GIANT Freakin Robot The review system works on a one to one to five star scale. Our scoring system does not go below one star. That’s why I gave Star Trek: Section 31 Zero Stars.
Star Trek: Section 31 Review score
