“The pressure of my smile is self-evident”

At her office meeting in Nairobi in her capital of Kenya, the 24-year-old faith suddenly became nervous – a part of the world where the world doesn’t like being comfortable with young women, unwilling to be considered difficult.

It has begun. Faith’s name was changed to protect her identity, and he faithfully laughed at her boss’s bad jokes.

But then, a senior colleague suggested that she felt she would not be able to actually work. But her colleagues mentioned her name before faith expresses her opinion.

“Faith agrees with me!” When her colleague added, “You agree, don’t you?” the others in the conference room turned to face her. ”

Faith disagrees, but feels under pressure: “I don’t want to be seen as difficult or moody.

“The pressure to smile is an unspeakable pressure to reach an agreement and not to spoil it,” she told me.

By then, she had been working for a popular company for two years and was one of the first women her family went to college – she wanted to achieve more.

“If I start to disagree with my colleagues in such a junior high school stage, how can I make progress?” she asked.

Faith knows what she is facing Women in the Workplace 2025 ReportFocusing on India, Nigeria and Kenya is known as the “broken rung”. This refers to a major obstacle to the company ladder, which has declined female representation between entry-level and management roles.

The management consulting firm, which was released in May, expanded its annual study to North America for the first time and found that women remained in small numbers in senior leadership positions in these three large developing economies.

In Kenya, women account for 50% of entry-level roles in areas such as health care and financial services, but 26% at the advanced level. Nigeria and India have similar patterns.

Faith did not challenge her colleagues at the conference. She smiled and said nothing.

Her experience now has a term–it’s called “lovely labor.”

“It’s a very interesting name for an incredibly frustrating reality,” said Amy Kean, sociologist and head of Good Shout, a communications consulting firm.

“It refers to the continuous second guessing, overthinking, paranoid, deforming and concealing women who are fond of every day in the workplace.”

Ms. Keane’s UK study – Transformer: What we do at work – May also showed that 56% of women felt the pressure of likability at work, while only 36% of men.

According to a survey of 1,000 women across the UK, the report also highlights the deep entrenched and inequality distribution, lovely burdens in a professional environment.

It details how women usually use minimizing language to soften the need for speech, even with confidence in their own views.

Common phrases include: “Does this make sense?” or “Sorry, soon…”

Ms. Kean explained that this constant self-editing could be a defensive mechanism to avoid being seen as abrasive or overconfident.

“There is also a class element,” she added. “Women who are less accustomed to regulating themselves in different environments are also accused of suffering directly and in the business community.”

For many women who are not used to advocating themselves in a personal setting, these bets go beyond those who are suitable or loved.

Ms Keane added: “It’s not as simple as it is popular, but it’s to be safe and take it seriously.”

Earlier this year, she held a summit in London to feel the pressure of labor for women, titled “Impossible Women.” More than 300 women share their experiences.

Research in the UK is not outliers. Sociologists say it is a global trend that women feel very likable for professional development.

A 2024 study This is backed by U.S. recruitment company Textio. Analyzing data from 25,000 individuals in 253 organizations found that women were more likely to receive personality-based feedback, and 56% of women were labeled as “unbelievable” in performance reviews, a criticism that only 16% of men accepted.

Men, on the other hand, are four times more likely to be labeled as “likable” than other genders.

“Women perform lovely labor for social and cultural reasons,” said Dr. Gladys Nyachieo, a sociologist and senior lecturer at Kenya Multimedia University.

“Women are often socialized as caregivers, serving and putting the needs of others before themselves, and this always moves to the workplace,” Dr. Nyachieo said.

“There is a term in Kiswahili – ‘Office Mathe’ or office mother.”

Mathe Office Mathe works hard to keep the workplace running, including brewing tea, buying snacks, and general services.

I asked what a woman wanted to do and what was going on.

“It’s nothing wrong with that,” said Dr. Nyachieo. “But you won’t get paid for it. You’ll still expect your job and other jobs that may be.”

Dr. Nyachieo believes that to address lovely labor, fundamental systematic changes must be made, including implementing policies that allow women to spend a flexible time and having mentors who advocate them.

Several young women she coached herself had just started with the Kenyan workforce.

“I take young women very seriously,” said Dr. Nyachieo. “I told them: ‘If you’re always taking action happily, you won’t have a place to go. You have to negotiate for yourself.”

One of her trainees is faith.

“She taught me not to keep feeling the pressure of smiling and kindness,” Fez said.

“I’m working on it.”